Enough with the chainsaws!

I think I can wrap up the Dave Chainsaw series with a couple of shorter recollections about his continued attempts to evade death.

Not that many years ago Dave owned an old Ford Bronco nicknamed "Fiery Death" because it had a hole in the fuel tank. But since the Bronco was only used to tool around the property, this was considered perfectly fine as long as we knew to start running if we smelled smoke or saw flames. The chainsaw part comes in when Dave decided it was time to remove an old telephone pole that was no longer in use on their property. Part of this operation included parking Fiery Death close to the pole to prevent the pole from falling onto some existing structures and causing damage. With the SUV in place, Dave proceeded to cut through the pole. As it turns out, these poles are extremely dense, having been treated with various chemicals to reduce weathering and increase their lifespans which makes them very heavy and hard to cut through. Quite some time later Dave did succeed in cutting through enough of the pole for gravity to take over at which time it promptly hit the Bronco, shattering its' windshield, while simultaneously kicking back into Dave's chest, fracturing a few ribs.

In another unrelated event Dave was trimming a bunch of felled trees when a slip occurred and chainsaw met foot with the expected results. Before calling 911 Dave was heard to tell his wife "Don’t go telling me I can’t chainsaw stuff anymore” After the ambulance ride it was found to have only nicked one of the bones in his feet, which, by his standards, was pretty minor. He did make a concession to safety though, and on the drive home from the hospital, stopped to buy chainmail boots to prevent this type of accident from happening again. (He never did use the booth, apparently they weren't comfortable).